Super mario bros.

the pitches

Chris Sully

Chris Sully

Title: Mario Brothers
Directed by: edgar wright
Starring: joe manganiello (mario), danny mcbride (luigi), tara strong (peach), gary oldman (bowser)

New York, Current Day

The camera starts in on a small New York apartment, where two men (who we know to be Mario and Luigi) sit playing video games in their living room. They are both dressed in identical work shirts for Mario Bros Plumbing Services, but Mario’s shirt is RED and Luigi’s is GREEN.

A radio is heard playing in the background and the brothers pause the game when they hear a familiar jingle. The NEW Super Mario Bros commercial plays and the brothers jump up and down in excitement at hearing their own voices and the finished ad that they had worked so hard to pay for. Their business is taking off and they are hyped!!

They are mid-dance when Mario glances at the clock and yell’s out “she should be on now!” He grabs the remote and plops down on the couch as he switched the TV to view Twitch and brings up his favorite streamer – PrincessPeach! Little hearts appear over his eyes as he swoons over his love, or at least who he wants to be his love. Mario and Peach and have known each other since high school and he has always wanted to date her, but hasn’t quite worked up the courage to ask her out on that first date.

We cut to the next day and see Mario and Luigi off to work in their Mario Bros Plumbing van. They’re pulling out of the parking spot in front of their apartment when they hear another NEW ad come on the radio. The commercial for Bowser’s handyman business plays and both brothers kind of roll their eyes at what they hear. Bowser (a long time rival in the home repair business) is now touting that, in addition to all of your other household issues, he too can handle “your plumbing needs.” They know it is a direct shot at their latest commercial and, as we see them driving down the road, they pass the storefront for Bowser’s shop, adorned with his spiked Turtle Shell logo. Bowser is standing out front, smiling and waving at the van as it passes. He’s got a smirk on his face that just makes Mario and Luigi’s blood boil.

We see a montage of the brothers going about their days as the business builds up. We see upgrades to their van and clientele as the days progress and, sprinkled in amongst their success, we see flashes of Bowser looking less and less happy each time the brothers pass by. There is a direct correlation between how happy they are and how angry Bowser gets with each passing day.

Each day, after their work is complete, we see Mario plopping down on the couch to watch Princess Peach stream and it seems that her channel is growing and succeeding too, until one day, there is no stream. Mario is surprised, so he checks the socials to see that Peach has had her Twitch account hacked. She is so upset and her posts all plea for the person who hacked her account, her livelihood, to give her back control of the account.  A comment below the latest post, from the account “KingKoopa”, reads “I hacked your account. If anyone can beat me at the upcoming Mushroom Mania Showdown, I’ll give you your account back, but don’t get your hopes up.”

Mario knows all about the Mushroom Mania Showdown. It’s an online gaming competition that’s been won by KingKoopa every year for as far back as he can remember. Nobody has ever even come close to toppling the champ. But why would the mysterious KingKoopa attack PrincessPeach? It makes no sense. Mario just knows that he has to impress Peach by winning the competition and getting her account back for her.

We see another montage, this time of some of our favorite video games, as Mario and Luigi practice for the big MMS, which will be held in just a few days. They have no idea what games might be included in the competition this year, so they just play everything they can think of. In between games (and the occasional nap), the boys work, but their focus is the competition.

The Saturday of the big Mushroom Mania Showdown comes and the brothers are READY! They get all set up in front of their gaming system with their laptop and iPads at their side so they can keep up with the progress and standings of the tournament. They are registered, ready and properly GFueled for the day. Mario checks his phone one more time to see a tweet from the KingKoopa account that says “I see you @SuperMario! Don’t get your hopes up at saving that [PEACH Emoji]. She needs more than a plumber to help her now.” With the post, there is a familiar logo, a spiked turtle shell. MIND BLOWN – Mario and Luigi both instantly recognize that logo as the company logo for Bowser’s Handyman Services. KingKoopa is Bowser!!!!!!!!! Just as they figure it out, another photo is added to the thread. It’s a picture of their Super Mario Bros work van and on it – a I HEART PrincessPeach stream bumper sticker. Bowser was messing with Mario by going after his LOVE!

It’s GAME ON! Bowser wasn’t going to get away with this!!

INSERT HUGE TOURNAMENT MONTAGE here! The music, the games, the leaderboard updates and all the fanfare and social posts surrounding the event! The participants play in games like Super Kart, Tennis, Donkey Kong Country, and more. During the day there are updates to the leaderboard posted online and we see that KingKoopa is clearly in the lead through the halfway point, but then two accounts start to catch up – SuperMario and Toadstool.

Eventually we come down to the last game of the tournament with KingKoopa just a couple of points ahead of SuperMario and Toadstool. The final game is BRAWL, a crazy fighting game that uses characters from all the famous gaming franchises, or in this case, custom characters designed to look like the players. KOOPA is a big oversized turtle with red hair, MARIO is a little italian plumber with overalls and red shirt & ToadStool is mushroom character with a crown.

BRAWL is KingKoopa’s bread and butter. He has dominated at this for years. The only participants are the top three places in the standings. Everyone else is too far out of the lead to have any chance.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN plays as the final scenes of competition unfold before us onscreen. Mario plays the best he has ever played until one fateful flaw sends him flying off of the map to his final death. At just that moment, ToadStool attacks Bowser from behind and deals him a final blow, ending the game and putting ToadStool a fraction of a point ahead of KingKoopa to WIN the tournament. Mario had failed, but at least Bowser had been defeated.

Mario had missed his chance to come forward and let Princess Peach know what he had done, but at least he tried. Later that evening, he returned to Twitch to see that PrincessPeach had gotten her account back and he couldn’t wait to see what she had to say about the recent events. During the opening minutes of the stream she thanks everyone who tried to take down Koopa, and then looked at the camera and said “I would like to extend the biggest Thank You to my almost-hero SuperMario. Mario – I know who you are and I appreciate what you did to try and get my account back. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.” While she was saying that she picked up her phone and typed something (all on camera for all to see) and hit send. At just that moment, Mario’s phone dinged. It was a text from Peach that simple said “I see you and I can’t wait to see you soon.”

Mario just about died. He had Peach’s number for years, but had never had the guts to ask her out. Turns out she had his number too!

“But wait” Mario thought – why would he get that special thank you when ToadStool had won the whole thing and got Peach her account back. It was just about that time that PrincessPeach revealed that she was, in fact, ToadStool and had defeated Bowser in the tournament. Why would anyone have thought they could beat Peach, a professional streamer, in a gaming competition? She just hadn’t entered the Mushroom Mania Showdown before. This was her first year and she beat the CHUMP, errr CHAMP.

Title: The Mario Brothers
Directed by: Shawn Levy
Starring: Chris O’Dowd (Mario), Adam Devine (Luigi), Ellie Kemper (Peach), John Goodman (Bowser)

We open on a makeshift office in the cramped corner of an old garage. Two of the three bays are lined with shelves stocked with plumbing supplies. A faded sign affixed to the desk says “Super Cheap Plumbing.” Taped beneath it is a hand-written sign: “& Paranormal Investigators.” A squat mustachioed man in khakis and a stained undershirt is sorting through paperwork when the phone rings. He calls for his brother to answer it.

“Luigi! Phone!”

A slender man emerges from beneath a covered vehicle, oil on his blue-jean overalls. He rushes to answer the phone. “Super Cheap. This is Luigi. What? Wow! We’ll be right over!” Luigi hangs up and shakes his brother. “This woman says a turtle crawled out of the sewer outside of her apartment. It’s walking on its hind legs, like a person!”

“Yeah? Does it have a sword and a bandana?”

“I didn’t ask. Should I call her back?”

“No! And we’re not taking your paranormal cases. Crazy people don’t have money. Besides, a two-legged turtle isn’t even paranormal.”

“It’s not normal either, and I assume the turtle has all four legs. It’s just choosing to walk on two.”

“And we’re choosing to offer plumbing services.” Mario hands Luigi a slip of paper.

“Did we win the restaurant bid?”


“Even with the free exorcism coupon?”

Mario shrugs. “And the cheapest bid. I guess some people don’t like saving money.”

“The problem is our image. We need matching uniforms, and maybe a brand without “cheap” in the name.”

“The problem is your shoddy work. If you took more pride in the job and weren’t distracted by ghosts and aliens and that stupid racecar that will never work, we’d have more loyal customers. New uniforms and new signs. All that, like our regular bills, requires money. You know where to find that?”


“I do.” Mario taps the paper in Luigi’s hand. “In this clogged drain. Now go.”

Clearly disappointed, Luigi takes the paper, loads up the van, and drives to the plumbing job. He completes the job, all the while trying to sell his paranormal services. As he leaves he spots a turtle walking the street on two legs and he follows it back to a sewer entrance. Staying in the shadows he continues stalking the turtle through massive sewer pipes until he witnesses a gathering of hundreds of turtles, walking mushroom goombas, and masked figures in red robes.

“Super weird!” Luigi says and excitedly pulls out his phone. Distracted by his own recording, he inadvertently calls the attention of a nearby shy guy, and Luigi flees in fear.

Back at the office, Mario is checking the time. His brother has been gone awhile and isn’t answering his phone. Mario is looking over piles of paperwork on his desk when the phone rings again. When he searches to find the phone he sees an old picture of him and his brother with their father in front of their plumbing van. The van was new then and everyone was younger and happier. Mario finds the phone and answers.

Luigi rushes in and sits at the computer, pulling up the video he posted online. He encourages his brother to get off the phone and watch. Mario apologizes to the caller and hangs up, watching stoically as Luigi shares his exciting video. It’s poor quality, but the mysterious creatures are there. When it ends, Luigi is all smiles. Mario is not.

“That’s what you’ve been doing?” asks Mario. “Making fake monster movies?”

“It’s not fake! Look!” Luigi rolls up his pant leg to show a mark. “One bit me! Isn’t that great?”

“Not when we can’t afford health insurance! And we can’t afford that because you keep messing up the jobs. That phone call was from the woman whose sink you were supposed to have fixed.”

Luigi tilts his head. “And she was calling to say what good work I did?”

“No. The sink, like your brain, is still clogged. Now you have to go unclog it again, except now it’s free of charge!”

“But this is important Mario!”

“So is this business! Our father’s business, remember?”

“Pop loved plumbing, Mario. You love it. I want to do something bigger.”

“And chasing ghosts is bigger? Will that bring you the fame and fortune you want?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. It’s gotta be better than this. Don’t you ever get bored with plumbing? Don’t you sometimes just feel stuck?”

“I do. You know what else feels stuck?” Mario holds out a slip of paper.

Luigi takes it. “That woman’s sink. Got it.”

We cut to the apartment above the garage. That night Luigi checks his online video to see it has very few views and the comments are all negative. He is discouraged and his leg hurts. He falls asleep, restless. In the morning he comes down to the office to see Mario in a great mood.

“We got it!” Mario says. “Triple A plumbing dropped the restaurant contract. It’s ours!”

“That’s great,” say Luigi, completely devoid of enthusiasm.

“6 sitters, 2 standers, and 4 sinks. This is the job that turns things around, brother. Get out to the site right away and meet with the client.”

Luigi nods and goes to the van, but collides with a woman in a hooded cape. She has seen his video and wants to know where he filmed it. Luigi dismisses her, but she’s persistent and when Luigi hobbles toward the van she asks how he got injured. When he tells her he was bit, she asks him to show her. When he does, she rubs some mysterious goo on it and it heals.

“What is that stuff?”

“Home remedy,” she says. “Mostly mushrooms.”

“Who are you?” asks Luigi.

Peach is riding in the Mario plumbing van, explaining who she is and what the monsters are. She is from a different world, one that has been captured by the terrible Bowser and his minions, the same minions that Luigi spotted in the sewers. He drives her to the location and they see the sewers are changing.

The pipes are large and green and plants with teeth are growing from the walls. When they find the turtles, there are hundreds more, an army. A small egg-shaped orb is glowing in the center of an open room where many of the green pipes converge. Another turtle emerges from it while the others are performing a dance. As the minions dance, the org grows larger. Luigi is recording it all, but Peach pulls him away.

She tells Luigi that they have to stop the minions and close the orb before Bowser comes through, but she can’t do it alone. Luigi calls his brother and says they need to talk.

At the office, Luigi and Peach explain everything. Luigi, once again, shares the video he has recorded, noting to himself that there are a lot more views on this one. Mario is clearly enamored of Peach but is furious that his brother bailed on the restaurant job. He says they’re both insane and fires Luigi. Peach and Luigi decide to go it alone.

Luigi is in the sewer again, shouting at the minions. When they chase after him, Peach slinks up to the orb and begins her own chant and movement, but some lingering minions spot her and she fights them off, all the while continuing her chant. Just as the orb is about the close, Bowser’s hand slips through the portal and pulls her in. Luigi, double-backing through the pipes, sees it happen. He records his farewell, uploads his video and jumps through after her.

When night comes and Mario’s calls to Luigi go unanswered, he is clearly worried. He checks Luigi’s room, a showcase of paranormal-related tokens and collectibles, then goes downstairs to see a package has arrived. He takes it inside and sits at the computer, trying to figure out how to return the package. He prints out a return slip, then looks at Luigi’s youtube page and his latest video. He’s flabbergasted. Mario grabs the package and his tools and calls a cab. When he reaches the sewers the orb is back to its former size. Mario begins altering pipes and valves and routes water to converge on the orb, flooding all the minions back through. When the coast is mostly clear, he turns off the water and sees a red robe and mask that had parted ways with their former owner. Mario dons the outfit and swims into the portal.

He appears in a flooded room. The minions are wet and confused. Dressed as a shy guy, Mario discovers he is in a vast castle, pools of lava swirling throughout, fueling engines which appear to keep the castle floating in the sky. He eventually finds a prison where Luigi is kept and rescues his brother. Luigi apologizes for being such a fool and Mario apologizes for not listening sooner. Luigi states that Peach is being held captive somewhere else in the castle and they need to find her when the brothers are spotted. Before they rush to fight and find Peach, Mario hands Luigi the package he brought from their world. Inside are new uniforms, customized for each brother.

“I ordered them when we got the restaurant job.”

“Does this mean I’m still employed?”

“Of course. You’re my brother. Now let’s go rescue the girl.”

There are scenes of fighting and obstacle jumping as they make their way to Peach. She’s in a gilded cage in a room with various treasures, glowing flowers and mushrooms and stars. The brothers knock out the guards and open her cage. Peach thanks them and tells them the treasures are from her world, special tokens that can be used to grant super powers, and they’ll need them to defeat Bowser. Mario says he came for his brother and her, but fighting a big bad wasn’t in his agenda. He wants to go home. She tells him that if they don’t stop Bowser, their world will end up just like hers. Mario agrees to fight.

Another series of fights takes them to Bowser where Luigi, Peach, and Mario are all defeated. Then each uses a super power and clobbers Bowser, sending him into the lava. Mario and Peach have a tender moment but Bowser bursts from the lava and chases them back through the castle. Mario says he has an idea but it means saying goodbye. Peach kisses the brothers on the cheek and Bowser, still glowing red hot, chases them back to the portal room where the Mario brothers jump inside. Peach stays behind and is captured again.

The brothers are back in the sewers where they start working on pipes again.

“Who thought plumbers would be the ones to save the planet?” asked Luigi.

“Pop always said we’re number one,” jokes Mario. “And number two.”

He turns a valve and a powerful force of water fires directly into the orb. On the other side minions are thrown into the walls. Jets of water disperse down castle tunnels, hardening the lava and stopping the engines. Bowser is caught in the flood and turns to igneous rock. The floating castle falls to the ground and Peach eats a star before impact. The glowing orb closes on both sides and Mario turns off the valve.

A few days later, Luigi runs into the office shouting for his brother.

Mario holds up his hand. “I know. I saw. Your videos of our escapade are a massive success and now you’re off to start your own paranormal investigation company.”

“No,” says Luigi. “The new sign came in.” He holds up a tiny sign for his brother. “It’s all I could afford.”

Mario smiles and says it’s perfect, then adheres the small sign to the one on the desk. Where it said “Super Cheap Plumbing” the new sign covers the word “cheap.” Mario and Luigi read the sign together: “Super Mario Brothers Plumbing.”

other features


The turtles form new alliances and take on old rivals with these original shell-shocking pitches from the Sully Brothers.

Read More »

Ghost Writer in the Machine

We’re inundated with AI stories as of late, laughing and marveling at its varied mistakes and achievements, but the what-if phase of artist replacement has already passed.

Read More »


The boys in blue get face-lifts from the Sully Brothers and guest host Jungle Bri as they pitch their very own Avatar movies!

Read More »
Poster for the movie "Alien"

The End, Or is It?

The ending of a movie is the final impression that movie will make on a movie-goer’s brain. Studios must do their best to make it perfect and sometimes that requires a cinematic overhaul.

Read More »


2023 Midyear Review

The Sully Brothers with special guest, Vanessa Sully, review the films of 2023, past and future. We also review Rotten Tomatoes top-scoring films of the year.

Read More »


The Sully Brothers come out of their shells to eat pizza and talk turtles. We review decades of TMNT cinema, discuss the upcoming Seth Rogen retake, and pitch our own original ideas for your favorite crime-fighting teens.

Read More »

Season 4 Launch

In this inadvertent celebration of Michael B. Jordan, the Sully Brothers discuss the past and possible future of Blockbuster Video, the Netflix burn protocol, and the retakes of 2023 and beyond.

Read More »


The Sully Brothers form an underwater blue man group with special guest, Jungle Bri, as we talk Avatar, Avatar 2: The Way of Water, and the eye-popping history of 3D cinema.

Read More »
Scroll to top